The root of my PTSD was cause was my childhood. I blamed my parents for years and let the pain drive my life. The past of my parents drained me emotionally and mentally. To be completely honest, I am still in the process of forgiving my parents. I am not doing this for them but for myself. I want to be the best mom I can be, and a good example for my daughter. I don’t want resentment and pain to reside in my heart. I have to learn to let go of the past and forgive my parents. Looking back, I can see that my parents did not have love in their hearts. Now as an adult, I see that they were able to learn love now ( I think). The little girl inside me still sees them as the loveless parents.
This forgiveness process started with my mother. Mainly because she was more open and accepted the role she played in my upbringing. This has been a long and hard process for me. No parent is perfect. Yes, some are definitely better than others. It is how you use your upbringing to help shape your parenting skills. I realized I am not my parents and I try to give my daughter what I didn’t receive from my parents. Learning to forgive my parents will help me teach my daughter how to forgive. Finally forgiving my parents, I was able to let go of the pain. My PTSD no longer ran my life. I did not know that just simply forgiving them would cause my mental health to be stable. Holding in the resentment and pain, only cause me more pain and suffering. Some of us just need to learned how to let go and forgive.